There are many behaviors that we initially integrate but something tells us inside that we have to work on because they are not beneficial for the child or for us.the correct integration of our child with himself, at home and in the social environment.
When we raise our typical children, we are very clear about the limits and demands we set for their education. But when our children have some kind of difficulty, disorder, or condition of inequality, the patterns of this reality change, and situations arise that would have been unimaginable. It's a natural situation, and we shouldn't blame ourselves for it. Instead, we should follow our intuition and redirect these situations to where our hearts tell us to, for the sake of our children. In these cases, the action plan is even more necessary because it will determine your individual and social success, and, consequently, your happiness.
Sometimes it seems funny, curious, or childish when these behaviors appear, almost unnoticed and seemingly irrelevant. But one day, concern flares up, and we decide to pay special attention to what has naturally occurred. A tool to assess the severity of the behavior? Let's imagine our child 10 years older, in the middle of adolescence and the size of an adult, doing that in public.There we have the line to evaluate whether we should start working on it or if it's really not important and we can continue without establishing an action plan.
Before starting the Action Plan it is very important to keep in mind that there is no pain, medical or health problem that is causing this behavior, sometimes an illness can have an intense behavioral expression that is a sign that appropriate medical action should be taken.
To carry out this evaluation when we have "behavioral" children (who present a significant amount of disruptive or inappropriate behaviors) the FIRST COUNCIL is to use a Behavior notebook\». Ideally, you would record the date, time, place, history (what happened before), description of the behavior, how the child felt doing it, and how people responded to the behavior.
The SECOND COUNCIL is to mark you one goal at a time, at most two but they must be from two different areas and they must act independently. It must be realists and set achievable goals, that goes for the child and the parents, Behavioral changes don't happen overnight and if they don't it can be frustrating!
The THIRD COUNCIL is \"We are a team and we must act togetherSiblings, grandparents, family, school, and therapists—we all need to be consistent, because that's where our strength and effectiveness lie. We all need to be informed and share the same goals and reactions to behavior.
The FOURTH COUNCIL is the Plan of action, the strategies are as follows, Keep in mind that each behavior is particular and has a function in each child So these are general guidelines; each team can create their own individual action plan tailored to the behavior and the child. The strategies are:
- Prevention: We must reduce the frequency of the behavior so we must always prevent situations where it appears until we are able to manage it and redirect it with constructive objectives and functionalize it.
- Reinforce appropriate behaviors: There are many situations where this behavior could appear and it doesn't, so we are going to focus our attention here, on your effort and positivity, there are many moments that are already achievements for our children and we overlook them and normalize them when they are extraordinarily positive and powerful to promote appropriate behaviors in your child, "This is what I want you to do instead of this I don't want you to do."
- ExtinctionExtinction is about carrying on as if nothing's happening. It's not about remaining silent, looking at the child, and then walking on with a distraught expression. It's about ensuring that the behavior no longer impacts daily life, eliminating stress, discomfort, disorientation, and so on. "You're more nervous, I'm calmer." This is very useful when we don't have time to redirect it, "Everything you don't see doesn't exist" And in everyday life there are many moments when this happens and we don't have the strength or the time to properly handle the contingency, so keep walking and take a deep breath, there will be another time!
- Action: We determine the function that this behavior has and we get think of functional alternatives to give it an outlet, in a constructive way. Here are some examples: if we have children who bite, use teethers and oral stimulation; if we have children who pull hair, let's use fabrics, dolls, massages where the contact and the sensorial aspect are strong; if we have children who undress, intentionally provoke it more times a day but in a controlled way, for example during a bath and monitor the clothing and the temperature so that there is nothing bothering; if there are children who continually put water and liquid finders in their food, we will orient the play towards water, mud, foam... Surely there will be a way to redirect the behavior towards another more useful, appropriate and that serves as effective self-regulation for the child. Thinking that \"It's not that he doesn't want to, but that he can't act any other way., here Language has a lot to do with it because it is directly proportional to the absence of behavior.
- Consistency: they usually say that Before a behavior disappears, it increases in frequency and intensity, And he's quite right. If everyone has answered every time we've rung a doorbell, what do we do when they don't? We keep ringing until we resign ourselves to the fact that no one's home and leave, or we choose another way to get inside. So, this is where the first three points must be strong and immovable. (Prevention+Reinforcement+Extinction)
With all these guidelines we can take effective action against these behaviors, always providing and encouraging our children's communication so that they can use another type of expressiveness for these moments that we naturalize through communication. Having Patience, serenity and accompaniment to your children and support you in expert professionals to be able to establish better day-to-day functioning.
You will surely get it!!!